Morcilla: The Puerto Rican Delicacy From HELL

The British have spotted dick and fish n' chips. US southerners have chit'lins and collard greens. Puerto Ricans? We have 'cuchifritos' - our own soul food. There's arroz con habichuelas, empanadillas, and a rather...interesting 'treat' that I was able to try this afternoon, called morcilla.

This is my story...

When my extended Latino family gets together to celebrate, several things are always part of the celebration: hysterical laughing at jokes told en espanol, friendly conversation with men and women in their sixties and seventies, and plenty of food. Lots and lots of food. Today's celebration was more of a farewell to a couple journeying away to live in Vermont. Within a half hour, the fare for the event was set out on the table: white rice, stewed black beans, a mixed salad, sauteed chicken, arroz con habichuelas (literally 'rice and beans'), chorizo (spicy pork sausage), as well as many other things. One of these other treats was resting on the grill, being cooked up alongside the chorizo. It was called morcilla, or blood sausage. Yep, you heard me right: BLOOD SAUSAGE.

Being an avid 'Bizarre Foods' watcher, I was psyched to get a bite of this morsel, which was given out in large chunks cut from a main, long link. However, once I got a whiff of it, I wanted to cry. Wouldn't you imagine - it smelled like blood. This was going to be a difficult bite to stomach. I then cut into the piece with the side of my fork. As soon as I did, the outside snapped, and everything on the inside began to squeeze its way out of the casing. Now, I was terrified.

After getting a piece on my fork, it took me about five minutes to stop saying "I'm scared," and finally place the piece in my mouth. Once I did...I had to sit there and think about it a little bit longer. The smell was definitely off-putting, that was certain. The texture was also something I wasn't wild about. I'd liken it to something in between Play-Dough and pudding, with fatty bits and pieces lurking within. Sounds simply lovely, does it not?

As for the taste, I enjoyed the spicy, savory side of it, although the appeal was short-lived. If you want to see what morcilla tastes like but do not want to try the actual sausage, do the following: Take an old penny, dip it in water, and then cover it with cajun seasoning. Next, place the penny in your mouth, and suck on it for about five minutes. Spicy and salty, yet it has a dirty, irony aftertaste. There - I saved you the grief of eating the actual sausage. A tip would be most appreciated.

I have to warn you, readers - blood sausage is a dish found all over the world; not just in Puerto Rico. It is not for the faint of heart. Though, if you do plan on devouring the piece that has found its way onto your plate, do not - I repeat, do NOT - breathe through your nose. Unless, you're a morbid human being and are into the smell of blood left out in the sun.

Peace, love, and chocolate

Kayla~