Not-So-"Top-Model" Snackage (Recipe)

Well, greetings, blog viewers...the very limited number of you... Just about four months ago, I moved into Marist once again, this time with my own kitchen. This addition to my living quarters I had once taken up last year (including my own bathroom and four other roommates in tow) definitely was an improvement from having to journey down to the dining hall every single time I craved food. And of course, once the dining hall and little food pick-up joints on campus close, unless you're willing to journey elsewhere to find snacks, as a freshman, you're completely screwed. Such is NOT the case for me anymore, and I am truly grateful.

On one particular October night, an episode of The Next Iron Chef brought one of my apartment mates, Jackie, to pose a brilliant idea:

"...Hey guys, we should fry pickles."

Oh Jacqueline, don't you know that you can't do that in front of me on an event-less Sunday night?

Well, needless to say, after dragging the blonde and my roommate, Hilary, into the kitchen as my sous chefs, and my photographer, Alex, as well to photograph the evidence, the experiment began. What would follow would be considered a wondrous experiment that, after a few remakes for America's Next Top Model premieres, would become a stomach sore. Yes, I said it - do NOT make this recipe too often. And by too often, not once every week for a period of three weeks. These things stick to your stomach, and too many can weigh you down like lead.

MAMA'S CRUNCHY-FRIED PICKLES WITH "TANGY MAYO"

1 container of pickle chips

1 Tbsp seasoned salt

1 cup, plus 1 cup all-purpose flour

1 can beer (standard can; we used Coors, but you might want to go higher-quality if this isn't just spur-of-the-moment)

Panko breadcrumbs

Canola or vegetable oil

Salt and pepper

For mixtures: Set out three plates. In one, deposit one a cup of the flour with a little salt and pepper, running your fingers through it to lightly crush any lumps of flour remaining. In the second, which actually should be a bowl, pour in the beer and mix in the remaining flour until combined. In the final plate, combine the seasoned salt and panko, mixing with your fingers.

Heat oil in a deep, wide pan, in a pool of half an inch, until a pinch of breadcrumbs crackles in it. This would be medium high heat.

Meanwhile, take pickles, pat dry, and dip each first in flour, shaking off excess, before moving to the batter, and finally the panko. Set out on separate cutting board / plate / dish / sheet pan until the rest are complete, before moving to the oil, dropping them in. [NOTE: Be careful! The oil will splatter and pop a bit, so handling a pair of tongs while wearing an oven mitt would be fantastic for burn-avoidance.] After 30 seconds, check the side placed pan-down. They should be anywhere from golden to brown. Flip, and keep in pan for an equal time, before placing on a plate lined with paper towels to remove excess oil. Let rest for 3 minutes to cool, before serving.

MAYO

Mayonnaise

Splash of pickle juice

Tabasco sauce (as much as desired)

Combine three ingredients in small dish and serve with pickles.

Peace, love, and chocolate

Kayla~